Keeping contact across the air miles

As Paul McCartney and Heather Mills attempted (and failed!) to finalise the financial aspect of their divorce last week, her father predicted the former model would leave Britain after a settlement had been reached.

“I think she’ll go abroad and then just slowly fade away into obscurity”, Mark Mills was quoted as saying.

France and America have both been mooted, but if Heather does choose to relocate overseas, where will that leave Beatrice, the couple’s four year old daughter?

Leaked information suggests Heather will continue to be Beatrice’s main carer but the former Beatle is expected to enjoy a good deal of contact with the little girl. Whilst Paul and Heather are perfectly able to afford the cost involved in maintaining contact over such a distance, many people in this situation would find it a huge struggle.

If you are worried about the prospect of your ex upping and leaving the country with your child, the first thing you need to know is that assuming you share parental responsibility (even if you are not the parent with care) the other parent can’t take that step without your permission or that of the court.

Where a move overseas is motivated by a genuine desire to improve the life of the parent with care and the child – and is practical – the courts will give very serious consideration to such a request. But when granting permission, a court will try to ensure that contact with the other parent continues. The welfare of the child is always paramount.

An increasing number of Britons are moving abroad, and setting up home in another country after your marriage ends can be a great way to make a completely fresh start.

But when there are dependent children things can become complicated. Quite apart from the contact problems likely to arise, taking children away from their roots and culture as well as their extended family, friends and school can be traumatic for them.

Conversely, exposing children to a different way of life and language can also be beneficial in terms of expanding their knowledge and horizons.

If one parent wants to set up home overseas with the children (and the other agrees) it is sensible to choose a country that is easily accessible to the UK and to live fairly close to an airport with direct flights to the other’s nearest domestic runway. It will be necessary to consider how the journeys are to be funded and whether the children will need to be accompanied. It is also important to be flexible and understanding over the ex’s wish and ability to visit – even if the courts haven’t made any stipulations.

It is also vital to ensure the children stay in touch with friends and family through letters, phone calls, email and Skype.

For the children, the break-up of their parents’ marriage can be distressing enough, but for one parent to take them to live in a foreign country can cause added misery.