Fools rush in..the wise wait for new love

For those of you whose marriages recently failed, the extensive news coverage of French President Nicolas Sarkozy and his new wife, Carla Bruni, who jetted into Britain for a state visit last week, might have been difficult to stomach.

It seems hardly fair that a man whose second marriage ended in divorce only a few months ago has already found love again – and, no less, with a particularly glamorous woman more than a decade his junior. The now thrice-married Mr Sarkozy met Ms Bruni at a dinner party last November. Just 11 weeks later – and less than four months after his divorce from wife number two came through – they were married.

Most people in the throes of a divorce, especially where there is no third party involved, will view the apparent fairytale romance involving a diminutive French president and a statuesque glamour model-turned-singer as precisely that – a fairytale.

For the majority of new divorcees, the prospect of settling down again – however much they long to do so – is little more than a pipe dream. Finding yourself single again after being in a long relationship can be a particularly unnerving experience. Apart from the loneliness factor, there is understandable anxiety that you will never find anyone else to replace your ex-spouse. You’re older and rusty at the dating game; you may have young children and debts and you might be suffering from extreme loss of confidence.

However, there are reasons for optimism: firstly, it is wise to wait awhile before embarking on another relationship, as rebound romances have a habit of falling by the wayside (and second marriages are even more likely than first marriages to end in divorce). Secondly, however unlikely it might seem now that you will meet someone special, there is no knowing how life will pan out: you might meet someone at work or through friends, in Sainsbury’s or over the internet.

In some ways, there’s never been a better time to be looking for love again: the prevalence of divorce means there are more single people of all ages out there than there used to be.

So my advice to anyone who felt more than a stab of envy at the sight of the Sarkozys cuddling up during their London visit is this: don’t rush to find new love; concentrate instead on learning to be happy on your own. This will give you an attractive aura of confidence and contentment when someone does come along.