How to SWOT up on the pros and cons of staying married

You may be reading this blog after returning from your
annual summer holiday feeling more exhausted than before you
went away. Not only exhausted; you may also be gravely
worried that your marriage is falling apart.

Summer holidays can be the proverbial straw that breaks the
camel's back. I know this because the start of September is
one of the busiest times of year for divorce lawyers. I've
explained previously some of the reasons why holidays can
prove so disastrous for marriages - having unrealistic
expectations, spending 24 hours a day with your partner when
you rarely see them in "real" life and rowing about the
children, to name but a few.

If your holiday this summer turned the cracks in your
relationship into a chasm, you may be contemplating making
an appointment with a divorce lawyer. However, I would
advise you to think long and hard before doing so - yes, I'm
turning away business here!

Divorce is a gruelling process and its consequences are
far-reaching. I'm not suggesting anyone dissolves their
marriage on a whim, but I do think some people don't weigh
up sufficiently the pros and cons of getting divorced versus
staying married.

What I would suggest is that you put the Yellow Pages to one
side for the moment and set about compiling a SWOT analysis
- a strategic planning method used to evaluate Strengths,
Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats involved in a project
or business venture (which, let's face it, is what a
marriage boils down to). This involves specifying the
objective of the venture/project and identifying the
internal and external factors that are favourable and
unfavourable to achieving the objective. In other words,
it's about detailing and evaluating the benefits and
disadvantages of staying married versus getting divorced.
For example, leaving your spouse might afford you more
personal freedom, but if you're going to end up financially
poor, how will you be able to enjoy that freedom?

Conversely, you may lose the family home if you split from
your spouse, but a more bijou residence could serve you just
as well, if not better.

On one level, opting for divorce is an emotional decision,
but marriage is about much more than emotional ties - there
are practical and financial bonds that are arguably every
bit as important as the fact you've fallen out of love with
your partner. That's why compiling a SWOT analysis can help
you think through all the implications of divorce and reach
a balanced decision.

If you're still dithering, I would recommend 'phoning a
reputable divorce lawyer to talk through the SWOT analysis
results and see if he/she can give you a steer to get your
relationship back on track, or otherwise. A consultation
with a good solicitor may help to save your marriage - and
save you a fortune in the process. It's surely worth a shot.