So the ubiquitous Katie Price – aka the model “Jordan” – has announced her separation from second husband Alex Reid. The couple have been married less than a year, after tying the knot in Las Vegas.
In a statement released this week, Miss Price said: “Alex and I have had a number of difficulties over the past few months.
“I accept that these were in part caused by my marrying too quickly – we all make mistakes and this was one. However, Alex changed from the man I fell in love with.”
She added that “some of his behaviour became difficult” for her to understand and “caused issues”.
The pair began dating only months after Miss Price announced her separation from Peter Andre, with whom she had two young children, in May 2009. Reid, she says, proposed to her soon after her divorce from the singer was finalised.
I have tackled the subject of “love on the rebound” before on this blog site, but it is worth revisiting as it is one of the most common mistakes made by people who have recently separated or divorced. Jumping into a new relationship might seem like a good idea for all sorts of reasons, but – generally speaking – it really isn’t.
When a long-term relationship ends, both parties need time to sort out the practical and financial aspects of their split – but they also need space to come to terms emotionally with what has happened. Understanding why the relationship didn’t last often requires soul-searching, and that is best done on your own, without outside distractions.
Rushing into a new romance might serve to mask the hurt and bewilderment caused by the failure of the previous relationship, but the scars often run deep. A new beau might make you feel attractive and wanted again, but if you’re still grieving for your last partner, the pain will almost certainly bubble up over time.
If there are children involved, it is even more important to remain on your own for a while – allowing them and you to repair any damage that has been done. Introducing a new man or woman on to the scene soon after one parent is no longer around on a full-time basis is likely to cause the children confusion and add to their feelings of insecurity.
Love on the rebound has a habit of going wrong for the reasons outlined above – causing additional pain to the children involved.
It harms the adults too, for instead of one failed relationship to come to terms with and recover from, you now have two.
Of course it is tempting to want to replace your previous partner with someone else – the love, companionship and security that a relationship can bring – but it makes sense in so many ways to wait awhile (received wisdom is that it takes two years to recover properly from a divorce) before embarking on another romance.
It might sound trite, but there is much truth in the belief that if you learn to stand on your own two feet, love yourself more and understand better what went wrong before, you will be better placed to find lasting love in the long term.
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