Don’t let the family pet become a bone of contention during divorce

I have bought a puppy. Cassie is an adorable nine-week-old Spanish Water Dog and, I must confess, I’ve fallen hopelessly in love!

My main reason for getting a dog is my young granddaughter. She loves animals and has long wanted a pet. Her mother works full-time, though, so it wouldn’t be practical. I, too, work, but I figured that “co-parenting” was an arrangement that would work quite well.

The idea is that the dog lives with me most of the time (it is already a much-beloved office dog, as I bring Cassie into work with me every day and she gambols around in her “den” while I see clients elsewhere) and my daughter and granddaughter take over when I’m away on business, holiday or simply want a weekend to myself.

While the puppy is still young we’re making sure she bonds will all three of us (though I’m a bit worried my granddaughter is already the favourite!) so that we can all feel as if she belongs to us equally.

As I was planning for Cassie’s arrival, it struck me that the sensible arrangements we were making could apply to couples with pets who are going through a separation or divorce. It was revealed some time ago that “custody” of the family dog was becoming a bone of contention for couples who were splitting up. In America, the court system is regularly faced with issues over pets and judges have started to make rulings on the basis of what is best for the animal.

For many people, pets – especially cats and dogs – are considered so much an integral part of the family that both parties want to keep the animal. That, of course, isn’t possible if you’re going your separate ways.

Co-parenting – as I am doing with Cassie – might be the best solution on paper, but if the separation is acrimonious or one person’s new domestic arrangements aren’t suitable to having a dog around, it won’t always work.

I wouldn’t, however, advise anyone to resort to legal action to settle a pet custody arrangement. It is far better, for everyone involved, including the animal (and your bank balance!), to settle the dispute privately and – as with children – with the pet’s needs to the forefront. So here are a few tips:

Put the animal’s welfare first: If you’re going to be out at work all day but your ex isn’t, then it’s better for a pet such as a dog to have human company. If one of you is relocating to an apartment and the other to a house with a garden, the house is more suitable for a cat or dog

Ask yourself how important the pet really is or whether you and your partner are using it as a pawn? If you both genuinely want to keep the animal, your best bet is to agree on joint custody where appropriate for the pet’s welfare (cats don’t like being moved from one place to another)

However much you love your pet, remember that they are more easily replaced than humans: you can always get another animal that will be yours and yours alone and can be the focal point of your new start in life.