Forget a night of passion – a kiss and cuddle work just as well

Well, well; who would have thought it? According to a new study, men need to cuddle to be happy in a long-term relationship while women prefer to have sex.

Researchers from the Kinsey Institute at America’s Indiana University have found that acts of affection such as hugs and kisses are more important to men than women.

For women, sex tends to get better over time – after a couple have been together about 15 years.

More than 1,000 couples from different countries who had been in relationships for between one and 51 years took part in the survey.

On average, men who reported frequent kissing and cuddling were three times as happy as those who had less snuggling-on-the-sofa with their wives or girlfriends. Women, meanwhile, said that such shows of affection had very little impact on their happiness.

This research – for what it’s worth – somewhat turns on its head the perceived truth that men are only happy when they’re getting lots of sex and women just want to have their hair stroked.

From our experience as divorce lawyers, the simple truth is that shows of affection – for both men and women – play a significant role in keeping a relationship happy and healthy.

Women’s appetite for sex has always been underestimated, but it’s largely the case that the longer a relationship lasts, the less emphasis couples place on rampant romps beneath the sheets.

What, generally, keeps couples together are shared goals, mutual respect and a damn good friendship. If those are in place, then acts of affection – from hair-ruffling to holding hands – tend to follow.

Loving glances, an arm round the shoulder or a gentle pat on the head are important because they make people feel wanted, cherished and appreciated.

Of course a great sex life is a bonus, but after many years with a partner it’s not the be all and end all, whether you’re male or female.

The age-old problem with long-term relationships is that both partners tend to become complacent. The problems of everyday life – from the mundane to the major – can take precedence over reminding one another that you still care, that the other person is still your rock and that you would be all at sea without them.

Even after the passion wanes, affection usually continues – and it is vital to demonstrate that if you want to maintain a feeling of closeness with your partner.

So, if you feel your relationship is jaded, try showing your loved one you care by giving them a hug, a kiss or simply running your hands through their hair. Little acts of affection go a long way.