Rekindling the flames of passion might leave you badly burned

Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton did it; so too did Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson. Now it appears unfaithful footballer Ashley Cole is determined to remarry ex-wife Cheryl less than a year after the couple divorced.

But if the pair are hoping for a second-time-around happy-ever-after, they would be wise to consider the marital fate of other celebrity couples who have retied the knot.

With the notable exception of Natalie Wood and Robert Wagner, they almost all split up again.

Whether you’re famous or not, remarrying a partner is unlikely to work – and it’s not hard to understand why: unless one or both of you have changed, or as a couple you have resolved problems between you, the difficulties that pushed you apart the first time around will probably do the same after your second trip up the aisle.

The divorce process can be a lengthy one, so couples have plenty of time to reconsider their break-up. If by the time the decree absolute is granted they haven’t changed their minds, it is usually because the original decision was the right one.

So why do some ex-couples resolve to give it another go?

Sometimes it’s because they have children and the tug of family life pulls them back together. Often the children are instrumental in this – and if the reunion works then, of course, it is the ultimate in happy endings.

Sometimes couples stay in touch because of practical reasons and find that without the stress of trying to make a marriage work they get on better than they did when they were wed.

Often, though – and I suspect this is the case with the Coles – one or both partners are lonely and the old adage “better the devil you know” comes into play. For all her success, Cheryl Cole is reportedly lacking in self-confidence. If that’s the case, it is easy to see why, when she clearly doted on her philandering ex, she appears ready to forgive if not forget.

But here is the problem: if the Coles do remarry, will Cheryl ever be able to live with the knowledge that he cheated on her, allegedly more than once, and how will she ever be able to trust him again? For his part, the footballer may be full of remorse and determined not to misbehave again, but unless he has addressed the issues that made him cheat in the first place, he is likely to be tempted to stray after the second honeymoon period has worn off. To coin another adage, leopards don’t change their spots.

My advice is that a couple whose first attempt at marriage ended in divorce shouldn’t plan a second nuptials unless they have had counselling, separately and together, to work out why they separated and how the relationship can work in the future. A session with a divorce lawyer would also be sensible, so that they fully understand the consequences of their second marriage failing.

Remarrying your ex might seem like the height of romance – the triumph of passion over disappointment – but, statistically, second marriages are more likely to fail than first ones. A second marriage to your first spouse stands even less chance of working – so if you’re going to do it, think very, very carefully before sending out the wedding invitations.