Humans, it seems, are as clever as they’re going to get. Cambridge University researchers claim that mankind’s brain power has reached its peak and it’s impossible for us to get any smarter.
By analysing the brain’s structure and how much energy its cells use, scientists worked out that to become any more intelligent, the brain would need vast amounts of extra energy and oxygen – which we can’t provide.
It’s a fascinating idea and may well be true, but I’m not so sure we can’t get smarter emotionally.
After nearly three decades in the matrimonial law business, I am still learning about human behaviour, especially people’s responses to trauma, crisis and conflict. And my feeling is that humans still have a way to go in terms of managing relationships.
As divorce lawyers, we at Benussi & Co deal not only with the legal side of marital breakdown, but also support clients emotionally and practically.
Our clients are smart people – brilliant at their jobs; wonderful parents and pillars of the community. Yet sometimes the same individuals are rendered almost immobile by the upheaval that divorce brings to their lives. They find that education, professional training and life experience aren’t enough to cope with the fallout from the collapse of their marriages.
As a society, we have come a long way in our understanding of relationships and feelings, but there is a way to go, I believe.
One area in which we’re still not very clever is how we handle the break-up of a marriage in a way that protects children. Too many youngsters are left traumatised by their parents’ divorce. This is generally because the adults are so wrapped up in their own conflict and misery they fail to address their children’s needs and feelings of insecurity.
Even when there aren’t children involved, separating couples often can’t see the wood from the trees and get sucked into the mire of recrimination, bitterness and animosity.
At Benussi & Co, we try to show clients the bigger picture: that life can be better, brighter and less complicated if divorce is handled sensibly and sensitively.
We recognise, of course, that the parting of the ways – especially after a long marriage – is never easy, but we counsel clients that harbouring grudges and seeking revenge aren’t conducive to starting what can be a fulfilling and happy new life.
We also try to help clients understand what went wrong in their marriage so that they don’t make the same mistakes again – or that they learn to recognise flaws in human character that will save them from heartache a second time.
So whilst acknowledging the research conducted by Cambridge University scientists, I would argue that the human race still has a way to go in terms of understanding and managing its relationships, especially of the marital kind.
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