Money isn’t everything: a bit of R&R can be worth its weight in gold

Countdown to Christmas……12 days to go

By Denise McKenna

For many families, this has been a difficult year. The global financial meltdown has caused serious difficulties for a lot of people – and is likely to continue to do so into 2012 and beyond.

If money has been tight this year, Christmas may not be particularly welcome in your household. People have high expectations of the festive season and many have firm views about how it should be celebrated. For some this means spending a considerable amount of money on presents, decorations and food.

Because Christmas is such a high point on the calendar, a survey released yesterday found that one in three Britons expected to take on debt to pay for it this year. Research by YouGov, for payment technology firm Intelligent Environments, found that 31 per cent of those surveyed – including those already in arrears – are prepared to spend more than they can really afford.

Despite widespread austerity measures, the shops are as full to bursting with Christmas gifts and razzamatazz as ever – and the pressure to buy expensive presents for children is as great as ever.
Relationships that are already under strain because of money problems may become more fraught due to the financial burden of Christmas. Simmering tension over money woes could erupt into full-blown rows over how much – or how little – to spend on Christmas. It is difficult to eat, drink and be merry if you are anxious about the future of your business or job; paying the mortgage or paying your children’s school fees.

The festive season can be a stressful time: catering, shopping for gifts, arranging where to go and when or coping with difficult relatives may combine to turn Christmas into an event that is less than jolly.

If you add money troubles to the list, it is not difficult to see how the holidays could lead to serious ructions that could spell the beginning of the end of your relationship. So, to avoid the risk of damaging your relationship with arguments and unhappiness caused by money, here are some tips to ensure this Christmas is a happy one, whatever your material circumstances:

♦ Sit down with your partner and agree a budget you can afford.  And stick to it!  Avoid running up debts: if you can’t afford it, don’t have it.

♦ Make a list of everything that really matters to you at Christmas: you will probably be pleasantly surprised that a lot of those things do not depend on spending lots of money.

♦ Explain to children that you simply cannot afford to buy them lots of expensive gifts – and neither can Santa as even the North Pole has austerity measures in place! Maybe ask them to choose between one pricey gift and several inexpensive items.

♦ Draw up a list of all the things you can do at Christmas that do not cost money, such as going to a church carol service; going for walks or bike rides; playing board games; creating decorations out of “reclaimed” material.

♦ Make joint decisions on food, presents, guest list and activities.

♦ Whatever money problems you have, agree with your partner that you are not going to discuss them over the holiday period. Leave them until the New Year as there is nothing you can do about the situation until then anyway.

♦ Do not feel guilty about cutting back on your spending. Resist the pressure from glitzy adverts to buy the latest “must-have” items. Remember, by next December, they will be so “last year”!

♦ Replace money with time. Do more with the children to make up for not having bought them a bedroom full of new toys.

♦ Do not drink too much alcohol.  Not only is it expensive, but knocking back too much of the hard stuff removes inhibitions and may lead to rows with your partner you vowed you wouldn’t have!

♦ Relax. That doesn’t cost anything.  A bit of R&R can be worth its weight in gold.

• Denise McKenna is an associate with Benussi & Co