The (divorce) Times They Are A Changin’: Sylvie Sarabia looks back at 20 years with Benussi & Co

Sylvie Sarabia

It is 20 years since Benussi & Co was founded – and I joined the practice at its inception in 1993. Over the years I like to think I’ve learned as much from my clients – an equal number of men and women – as they have learned from me.

My particular expertise is in financial issues, which include obtaining emergency financial orders such as injunctions to protect financial assets. When I first started, I did a lot of Legal Aid, as well as helping founding partner Diane Benussi with private client work, and it’s amazing how quickly your experience grows.

In the early days, injunctions – financial as well as those related to domestic violence – took up a lot of my time. Recently, though, the number of injunctions has dropped off. I think the reason for this is that nowadays clients are more afraid to take this robust action and, instead, are more anxious to settle the divorce quickly, even if it may jeopardise their financial claims.

The economic climate might be partly responsible for this change in attitude: people don’t want to risk taking out an injunction in case it prolongs the divorce process or leaves them financially worse off in the final settlement. This rarely happens, but people are wary nonetheless.

The other main change I’ve seen over the years is how clients approach the financial settlement. Up until a few years ago, clients were keen to take “disclosure” (the requirement for your spouse to make financial information available in order to decide on the division of assets or maintenance) to the nth degree. So much so that I would have to warn some clients that they were at risk of spending more money on the process than existed in the marital pot! Yet some determined to carry on.

These days, that is far less likely to happen. Again, it may be recession-led, but it could also be that people are eager to get the divorce process over and done with as quickly and as painlessly as possible because they want to avoid confrontation and conclude proceedings sooner, albeit poorer.

In earlier years, when the appropriate time arrived to make proposals to settle – to avoid going to court and having a judge decide on how your assets were to be split – quite a lot of clients didn’t want to do so: they wanted their day in court. Now, it’s the reverse: clients are keener to settle early, out of court, sometimes against my advice.

Clients seem to have lost the attitude of “I’m going to stand up for myself, whatever the cost” to protect their long-term future, and instead prefer a more gentle approach. People are now living for the day.

Clients generally seem more worried about confrontation than they used to be. Over the past 20 years, much has been learned about the effect acrimonious divorces can have on children and the wider family and I think divorcing couples are much more aware now of the importance of keeping relations civil where possible. As a result, they are sometimes prepared to accept less by way of a financial settlement than they might obtain if they were prepared to confront their spouse through the court.

Settling early certainly helps to keep legal costs down, so again the recession may have something to do with this new approach – but I do think there’s been a shift in attitude too: clients generally want to be nicer to each other, even if they’re divorcing them.

While that is good, it’s important to balance keeping things sweet with getting the best possible financial settlement to secure the long-term future for you and your dependents. You don’t want to be repenting at leisure.

As one client, a well-known American author I acted for in early 2011, kindly wrote: “Sylvie patiently taught me that emotion and money must be separated and the wisdom that patience and procedure must be applied in equal measures for success.”

• Next week: Sylvie Sarabia explains why DIY financial settlements could leave you significantly poorer after divorce